We’ve been in property for some time. So we’ve met and dealt with some pretty interesting cats. Do you relate to any of the following types of buyers? This is what Agents think of you:
Dory – “It’s because I like you, I don’t want to be with you.”
This type of buyer is a lot like Dory. They will be oh so friendly and excited but as such will be difficult to talk to for long periods of time. They like to bounce around, sometimes even literally, to different subjects. They’re more interested in the bond that can be formed during the journey than in actually finding Nemo.
Dory’s ultimate goal is to befriend the agent. They want to share their experience with you and run through a number of topics – how good it will feel to live in their new place, how their social status will be elevated as a result etc. They like both you and the property.
Jordan Belfort – “Sell me this pen.”
Jordan Belfort from Wolf of Wall Street don’t give a damn. He tells you exactly what he wants and thinks about you while throwing hundred dollar bills in your face. He is the epitome of the direct type of buyer you may encounter during your stint as a seller. He (or she) may be very blunt about their opinions and may even interrupt you, wanting to get the small talk over with so you can get down to business.
Joey Tribbiani – “No, no… no… no, no… No, too much is changing, okay?”
Friends defined a generation and although it’s been quite a few years since going off the air, it’s not something you forget at the drop of a hat because clearly, Ross and Rachel were on a break. Anyway, our next buyer is best defined by Joey Tribbiani, the show’s resident idiot. Towards the end, he was very distraught over every thing changing. Wanting to keep things the same is a common desire, change can be scary but unlike Joey, these buyers usually stay calm and ask veeery specific questions.
Harvey Specter – “Don’t play the case, play the man.”
Suits may not be a very well-known TV series but it’s awesome. 2 lawyers go around New York City being smart, lawyer-y and out-logicing everyone. They’re observant, critical and value their own opinions over everyone else’s. These buyers may already know details about you and the property and are merely there to confirm their hunches.
Eugene Krabs – “I can think of 10 good reasons to never let go of a dime.”
This type of buyer has somehow managed to get a $40,000 discount off the purchase price for a 2 bedroom townhouse in Dandenong, yet still wants the complete upgrade on all extras including integrated fridge, timber flooring, Miele appliances and a Mercedes in the driveway. You may think of them as “cheap”, but they see themselves as very successful, precisely because of the offers they get.
Saul Goodman – “Let’s just say I know a guy… who knows a guy.”
Saul from famous meth-head series Breaking Bad is the perfect example of this type of buyer. Well connected, crafty and always looking to make a quick buck rather than waiting around. This buyer is basically saying: “I am respected in my community and people trust my opinions. So if I tell them to buy, I will have influence – but I want to make money too.” They may have lots of referrals for interested buyers, but they won’t give them up without a cut.
Danny Ocean – “Ten oughta do it, don’t you think?”
This type of buyer is generally friends with Robert Referrals. They will come over with 2 friends and all sign contracts on the same day with a huge discounted price. However, his 2 friends will use the cooling off period to exit the contract, leaving him with a purchase of an apartment with a huge discount. Little does he know the vendor can also cool off and not sell it to him!
This Ocean’s Eleven con man gets by, by flaunting his wealth and assets, visiting Melbourne from Sydney and staying at the Ibis hotel. Many want to be with them, others want to be like them, some kinda want them in jail.
Marlin – “You think you can do these things, but you just can’t.”
We once had a guy say he was not ready to buy until he got into his helicopter to check over his other properties in case a war broke out due to everything he witnessed in the media. Ignoring the fact that I’m using another character from Finding Nemo despite not being paid to promote the sequel, this buyer is exemplified by Marlin, the clownfish dad. Nothing is ever quite right with them, and they need to be reassured constantly: security is a precious commodity.
April Ludgate – “I don’t want to do things, I want to not do things.”
Arguably one of the funniest shows of all time, Parks and Rec character April defined what it meant to be lazy and not care much about responsibilities. She is a bit of an overstatement for this buyer type. But essentially this person is a bit of a time waster. They like looking at properties however are most likely not going to commit. That said, they may occasionally fall in love so hard they make that ultimate leap, exactly like April and Andy.
